Am I the only one who feels like July was just one big stressful hangover? Probably…. July normally is one big stressful hangover for me. By the end of July, I am normally so done with the heat, “family time”, FOOD, and just…everything, that I could literally die.
I don’t deal with stress well. Period. This really bugs me, and I want to work on this… Which is why my “theme” for my Happiness Project in August is going to be
“Slow Down & Chill Out”
Corny…I know…but I don’t care. After the long, Joe gone, mother in law here, 95 degrees every day month of July, I need to cool the eff down.
I was proud of myself in May and June. I had some intense days, but for the most part, I did pretty dang good at feeling AND dealing with my feelings. This month…not so much… This month, “I just shoved it down as far as it would go and then I put some food (and lots and lots of wine) on top of it”
And oh my God am I feeling it.
I don’t feel as light or as bright as I did even just 2 weeks ago. I don’t feel comfortable.
I don’t have a very hard job, but certain people and situations can make it very…. difficult… at times. Normally, pretty much 95% of the time, my job is awesome and I love it. But when it’s not awesome…. it’s hell. And I’m talking the hottest and darkest part of hell.
To put it lightly, I really didn’t handle the difficult very well this month.
I didn’t handle the situations with much grace, let alone much patience.
There were days where I was worried I wasn’t going to have any teeth left because I had been grinding them so hard all day.
But when you have to choose between grinding teeth or say something you’ll most likely regret… Yeah…
I HATE that I’m not always “better” in times of stress… but Cheesy Petes!
I really don’t think some of these folks even realize how crappy they’re being half of the time either. But whatever…
I know I need to work on my patience, AS WELL as how I handle my stress caused by certain people/situations.
I know that this is something that is really really REALLY important, especially at the office, since I work with my in-laws AND my husband…. Yeeeeeaaaahh. Maybe some of you can relate to that one…. And I know this is awful, and I know that I’m just saying this because it was a rough week at work but… a little part of me almost hopes you that can’t relate.
I’ve found things that help calm me down, and I haven’t been doing them. I haven’t taken the time to start any new crafts, go walk at lunch, or do any kind of exercise this month. Which was nice for about a week, then it just got depressing. 100 degrees or not, I know I can’t keep myself this still for this long without some kind of “freak out” happening… AND YET, here I am…again “freaking out” …again.
I really have no idea what new things I plan on trying to help chillmethefuckout over the next month… Any and all suggestions are welcome! So far my main ideas are
EXERCISE! BECAUSE FOR THE 1ST TIME EVER I ACTUALLY WANT TO
Make my own feet/hand soaks & body scrubs (and get this…actually use them)
Start our fall garden layout
Start meditating/gratitude check ins again EVERYDAY
Continue to take and post more pictures and start making more albums for them
I’m NOT going to drink wine everyday
AND SO HELP ME! I’M DEF NOT DOING TO PUT SOME FOOD ON TOP OF IT!
Write, write, write, write
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I have my husband back full time. I am going to get a break at work. I have my dream farm. I have no more excuses. I have no reason to still be in neutral. So come on Ashley! Come on…
But even with the bad, there was some good in July…
I got to spoil Burger without Joe for awhile, making me the favorite parent for once 😉
I got an awesome deal on an old awesome/tacky green leather couch that matches our new home perfectly.
I was able to catch some awesome sunsets and even more awesome sunrises.
Sure the sunrises were caught because I don’t sleep when Joe’s gone and the sun rises RIGHT inside my bedroom window….but it’s still beautiful…
I did a lot of the hard and shitty soul work that I had putting off for so long.
I got to the bottom of a lot of my emotional black holes that had been driving me crazy for over a decade, which has been amazing.
I found out that MC Hammer is doing well…and makes me happy 🙂
I really didn’t need Joe to be gone this month. I mean, I was in the middle of having a freaking mental breakdown RIGHT before he left. Not to mention STILL moving into our house…dontgetmestartedonthat…ugh.
I really didn’t need to take out that hurt and aggravation out on the box wine and cashews, but I did.
I really didn’t mean to take that hurt and aggravation out by resenting a handful of other folks and myself this month, but I did.
A lot of things happened in July that weren’t exactly fair or fun. But it’s over, and that’s just part of life. All I can do is look back and see the good in July and hope that August is a lot more chill.
If you are interested in starting your OWN Happiness Project let me know! Be sure to check out Gretchen Rubin’s site for more information about her ORIGINAL Happiness Project.